Simply someone

Iv spoken passionately, in the public eye, all my hardest moments In regards to post natal depression and there are still days when I question "how and why, me" whilst locked I'm a room in tears

I then look at my child - the answer took a while, but it came. I am who I am because of who you made me

When things overwhelm just remember 

Everyone needs someone 

Someone needs everyone

Everyone wants to be anybody

But only someone can be a somebody. You

"I know its gonna be..."

So after every intention to post more regularly my body decided to give up on me and need more time and handling from the NHS.... Thankfully all on the road to recovery

My last few posts have been a little negative and despite living with PND I'm a very positive person, most of the time.... Therefore this post is more of a moment for me too stop, breathe and smile.

I make no hidden fact that almost 3 years on and I still have days where I'm glad I still have treatment but my life is starting to feel right and that's all down to one thing, a smile - from my beautiful daughter.

Her happiness is contagious and ignites that warm feeling (not a hot flush ... They're a whole different subject) that makes me realise the light is still shinning.

On the way to visit my grandparents today Lylha was singing along to Elli Goulding and she only knows the "eeee eeee" bit (you know what I mean) and she just blurted out "mummy its going to be ok because she said so" iv no idea what sparked this comment but hearing your child say those words does 2 things, 1 makes you feel guilty there is a reason they should want things to be ok - but more importantly it makes you stop, breathe and smile!

After all iv harped on enough about the power of smiling!

For those that follow me on twitter @laurindaisla will know that I often quote "life isn't about waiting on the storm too pass its about learning to dance in the rain" Well, Lylha, thank you for teaching me to salsa in the storm. I love you

Hold on for one more day

Wow happy 2013 ... Better late than never, and I always opt for fashionably late to a party

So excuses time in the last 6 months, yes that long ago now, my world changed dramatically...I sadly became a single mum and my physical health symptoms have been in over drive. So I haven't blogged because iv been back on the meds - iv spent days googling "how do I stop crying" and didn't think it appropriate for someone positive about mental health blogged about he darkness we know and fear

and then the cloud I often find myself under lifted....

I always say smile and the world will smile with you - well I took my own medicine and it worked. When I cried and ached full of hurt, self pity and anger I was filled with messages of "chin up" "time is a healer" BUT when I smiled all I heard was "wow you are stronger than you look" "I couldn't do if"
Looks like sorrow doesn't like company?

The more I smiled the more those around me raised my mood and the more I started to believe again

The bloody black cloud is a bugger but when sunlight comes through its a saviour. My friends, my family, my daughter and my smile have made the hardest part of my life not only liveable but successive!

Only one thing is more warming than you seeing your smile in your mirror and that's your child saying "you are pretty when you smile mummy, I love you"

Go on smile - you know you want too!!

Happy new year pen service has resumed