Sunday, 19 April 2015

So it's been two years... The journey's toughening

Wow, the first word has to be wow as its be a lifetime ago since I posted, and right now I need a life line. 

So I left you with a broken family and 3yo... Well today and ass kicking mother and a 5yo, and a dad sees Lylha regularly. 

For the ass kicking part well that belongs to Lylha. For their isn't a; fight, cause, plight I wouldn't three myself and her into for her.

But for me, I thought I was swimming this so well, even tempted a channel venture ... but before I knew it my legs couldn't tread water anymore and my arms start flailing. 

Why is everything a battle?, I love being a parent so much but I feel I'm always nagging, forever we saying no, threatening to take things away... And that's a good day! 

I feel sad that school has the best of her now and that brings out the sad in me because, selfishly, I miss our time together. But the time I do have with her she is so angry to me, and even her friends. That I feel like the mum that fails, the one 'we wouldn't invite her and her child too' the one they whisper about. 

Am I crazy or am I on my own here?

Does anyone else feel that backchat is the pinnacle at which they say 'yep, it's been great but I'm out'
The begging them to eat, the wish that the manners they have would be on display even 10% of the time  .. But above all that ... The compassion, the kindness and the empathy they have be on display; Those moments when we feel 'yeah I taught that' prevail over the cringe of your child saying 'I'm not sharing that'

I just wish I was getting it right. For her. 

1 comment:

  1. Ah she's such a pretty little thing :) I've not read your blog before, hopped on here from your twitter. I have read a few posts though, you've been through quite a bit, i hope you're feeling better than previous, it's a long time since you've blogged, it's good to get things out isn't it? hopfully you'll get more time to do that too, i'm sure it'll help :) I think you need to work on your relationship with your little girl, I am currently doing the same thing! You're not alone! It's a slow process.
    I would pick your battles, that was my first thing i realised and i still remind myself of when i'm low or my son us having a hyper/uncoporative day..Don't make things like meal times a huge deal because she probably likes the arguements. She's looking to control her world, i guess we all do it and kids can't do much so they take what they can i guess! Stay firm, pick your battles, stand your ground, confiscate things, but spend time doing things. Try saying no less? What's the worst that can happen?! (I don't mean saying yes to everything lol like nothing obviously dangerous lol!) xxx